14 tips that have worked for us during our 14 years of marriage
I must clarify that we do not consider
ourselves a role model, so this is not a prescription for everybody to follow but a
description of what has worked for us. We have faced many challenges and difficulties
during our time together; if we were to make a list of the things that have not
worked, the list would be much longer than this. Without further ado, these are
our 14 tips:
1.
We are
very jealous... with our privacy. We do
not publish our couple problems, but we have sought help every time it has been
necessary.
2.
Common
finances. Regardless of how much one or the other
earns, every penny that we receive is considered as our money. We
always work together on the family budget, but the expenses are made by the stingiest
one.
3.
Quality
time alone together. We do our best to spend some time alone together
as a couple every day; while trying not to neglect our children and our academic
and social commitments.
4.
We pray
together and for each other. We are
aware of our need of God as parents, as a couple, and as individuals; that’s
why we set aside time to pray together and individually.
5.
Be
honest, but not cruel. In our relationship we recognize the need to
communicate with honesty, but we try to overcome the temptation to use that
honesty as an excuse for hurting each other.
6.
Active
sexual life. In the midst of the many occupations we attempt
to keep the spark of marriage alive. Sex is a wonderful gift of God to be
enjoyed in the context of marriage.
7.
We count
our blessings. One of the strategies that has helped us to
cope with new challenges is the review of how God has blessed us and helped us
in the past. We actually keep a record of these blessings.
8.
We acknowledge
our vulnerability. We are only human and, therefore we take
precautionary measures to keep our marriage away from temptation. We have no
private or secret friends or contacts. This precaution extends to our use
of social media.
9.
We try
to deal with conflicts as they arise. We do
our best to settle all our accounts before going to bed every night. Resentment
spoils life.
10. Sense
of humor. We have learned to laugh at ourselves and to inject a drop of
good humor in every situation before the tension takes control, although we do
not always succeed:)
11. Physical
attraction. The spiritual and character dimensions of life
are essential, but we believe that it is also important to remain attractive
for one another.
12. Forgiveness. We have
discovered that the act of forgiving is one of the most difficult things in
life; but we have also discovered that forgiveness is indispensable to keep any
relationship healthy. In the midst of tears and on our knees we have learned to
practice it, and this has helped our marriage to grow.
13. Altruism.
Life has taught us that selfishness separates us from the people we love. By supporting one another in our individual
goals and dreams, we have come to enjoy life and marriage much more. We celebrate
our victories and weep over our failures together.
14. Attention
to the little details. No marriage grows or collapses overnight. Conscious
of this, we try to pay attention to the little things. We recognize the value
of the small sacrifices. Giving thanks for small favors, a homecoming and
good-bye kiss, a little love message during the day, or a word of encouragement
are some examples of this.
As we
start our 15th year together, we entrust our marriage to God. We do
not know what the future holds, but it is our desire that the LORD will
continue to be our Guest and Permanent adviser, and that He will teach us to
love one another as He loves us.
PS: Well,
although there is a tip that is implicit in the previous 14, we want to mention
it explicitly: Respect to each other’s individuality. We acknowledge the
fact that we have different backgrounds and personalities, so we accept and
respect one another. We need to remember this every day.
Aneury
& Anita, Silang, Cavite, Philippines 25 August 2016
Wow! Very wonderful tips and very inspiring! God bless you. Happy 14th Marriage anniversary.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing these important God-given tips for marriage. Following them definitely makes for a happy marriage experience! I know God will continue to bless you two and your family in your 15th year of marriage and the future beyond:)
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